Felicity An American Girl Adventure Ending Parody
by Commander Cody CC-2224
Summary: A spoof on the Felicity: An American Girl movie ending portion. Please R&R.


ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SERIES presents:

**A Parody of the _Felicity: An American Girl Adventure_ Movie Ending Portion**

**(From The Wacky World Of Felicity Merriman)**

**Written By: **_**Commander Cody CC-2224**_

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Author's Notes:

Some of the quotes in this parody are derived from _Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country_ and Darth Tabby's parody of _Star Trek: Nemesis_.

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December, 1775 A.D.

Sometime around 1930 hours

Williamsburg, Virginia

**Scene:** In the Merrimans' home, dining room…

Felicity narrates

_"Christmas had come at last (well, sort of). And as I watched our friends and our family gather together in rowdy celebration, I realized that it sure as hell didn't matter whether we were Loyalists or Patriots because on that night, in that room, we were together as one."_

_(Mr. Merriman proposes a toast)_

**Mr. Merriman:** _(lifts wineglass)_ Ladies and gentlemen and other transgendered species present in our household, I offer a toast. To our friends _(turns to Mr. and Mrs. Cole, and their eldest daughter Annabelle)_, our family _(turns to Mrs. Merriman)_, our kin _(turns to Nan and William who are fidgeting with each other at the table)_, and _(turns to Ben)_ those who inhabit and eat us out of house and home.

**Ben:** _(indignantly)_ Hey!

**Mr. Merriman:** _(genially)_ Shut up, Ben.

_(Laughter breaks out among the family members and guests)_

**Mr. Merriman: **_(continues)_ And to Christmas. And also to victory for the Patriots in the Independence War against England.

**Mr. Cole:** _(in a tone of shock and indignation)_ What?

_(Mrs. Cole starts feeling nervous)_

**Mr. Merriman:** Calm down, Mr. Cole.

**Mr. Cole:** Mr. Merriman, we came to your household as honorable guests to celebrate Christmas together as friends! I pray you, do not patronize us any further with the subject of rebellion on the part of the Colonies!

**Mr. Merriman:** Gee, I didn't know you're that politically sensitive. My sincere apologies, sir. _(continues toast, as Mr. Cole relaxes on his dining chair)_ Now, where were we? Ah, yes. And to the undiscovered country.

**Mrs. Cole:** _(confusedly)_ Pray, sir, what is this "undiscovered country"?

**Mr. Merriman:** _(slightly annoyed)_ The future, Madame.

**Everyone:** Hear, hear.

_(The Merrimans and the Coles exchange jovially amicable greetings of "Merry Christmas".)_

**Mrs. Merriman:** Hamlet, Act Three, Scene One.

_(The Merrimans and Coles sip on the Romulan Ale in their wineglasses.)_

**Mr. Cole: **You will not have experienced the thrill of Shakespeare until you read him in Middle English.

**Ben:** That's just lame, Mr. Cole. Of course Shakespeare is written in Middle English. _(pauses for a second)_ The language sucks.

_(Mr. Cole shrugs, and sips the Romulan Ale beverage. He starts getting squeamish that he exhales in an abrupt manner, as if the taste is somewhat foreign to him.)_

**Mr. Cole:** Mr. Merriman, I thought Romulan Ale was illegal.

**Mr. Merriman:** _(laughs genially)_ One of the advantages of being 3000 miles from Parliament in London.

**Annabelle:** How ever did you manage to sneak Romulan Ale into the country, Mr. Merriman?

**Mr. Merriman:** I have secret dealings with the Romulan authorities on the planet Romulus. I sell them arms, and they sell me the beverage at the General Store. Almost everyone considers the beverage black market stuff.

**Mr. Cole:** Hmm. Interesting.

**Mr. Merriman:** Their cargo ships fly out of the Neutral Zone and land at the outskirts of the town. Under cover of darkness they enter the town, deliver the goods, and leave without anyone noticing them, not even the militia.

_(Felicity starts groaning pathetically, as she starts to get sick to her stomach. Elizabeth looks at her with worry. Mrs. Merriman takes notice of Felicity's unfortunate predicament.)_

**Mrs. Merriman:** Lissie, are you all right?

**Felicity:** _(squeamishly, groans)_ Not really.

(Elizabeth starts getting sick to her stomach as well.)

**Elizabeth:** I'm not feeling so good either, Mrs. Merriman.

_(Mrs. Merriman turns to her husband.)_

**Mrs. Merriman:** Edward, is it the ale?

**Mr. Merriman:** _(flabbergasted)_ I really don't know, dear. This is the first time we're having this, though I fear that Lissie and Miss Elizabeth have gulped their beverage like apple cider.

_(Ben starts feeling sick to his stomach, too.)_

**Ben:** Romulan Ale should be illegal.

**Mr. Cole:** It is illegal.

**Ben:** Then it should be even more illegal that it already is, damn it!

**Mr. Merriman:** Calm down, my young apprentice. You're not the only one in this seemingly unfortunate predicament, you know.

_(At the other end of the table, Felicity and Elizabeth speak to each other briefly.)_

**Felicity:** _(squeamishly)_ I think we'd better stop drinking this, Elizabeth.

**Elizabeth:** _(Nods while wincing)_ Aye.

_(The girls place their wineglasses on the table. Annabelle slowly gets up from the table.)_

_(After nearly 30 seconds, Annabelle is the next guest to get sick to her stomach as well.)_

**Annabelle:** _(squeamishly)_ I-I feel terribly sick.

**Mrs. Cole:** _(affectionately)_ Annabelle, dear, don't tell me you have a headache.

**Annabelle:** _(groans)_ Um, um…

_(Annabelle collapses on the table, spilling the wineglasses and smashing her head on the food. The table starts becoming a ghastly mess. In the background, Felicity and Elizabeth snicker. Mrs. Cole is shocked. She attempts to lift the intoxicated Annabelle from the table.)_

**Mrs. Cole:** Mr. Merriman, did you ever have the intent of intoxicating our eldest daughter?

**Mr. Merriman:** _(shrugs casually)_ No, why?

Mr. Cole starts getting kind of drunk. He slowly gets up from the table and toasts to himself.

**Mr. Cole:** _(drunkenly, in a forceful manner)_ To victory for the British against those damnable rebellious Colonies!

_(Mr. Cole gulps the last dregs of the Romulan Ale. Seconds later he collapses on the middle of the table, making such a ghastly mess, too.)_

**Mr. Merriman:** _(in a casual manner)_ I guess both Miss Annabelle and Mr. Cole couldn't hold their liquor. I'll take them to the parlor.

_(Mr. Merriman attempt to move the drunken Mr. Cole and Annabelle off the table and out of the dining room. Mrs. Merriman assists with moving the completely intoxicated Ben.)_

**Felicity:** _(whispers to Elizabeth)_ Let's go see whether Annabelle is going to flirt with Ben in a fit of giddy drunkenness.

_(Felicity and Elizabeth scamper to the parlor entrance. They witness Ben lying flat on the floor on his back. Suddenly the girls look at each other with concerned faces.)_

**Felicity:** _(seriously)_ Elizabeth, I think we'd better do something before Ben starts flirting with Bananabelle in a drunken frenzy.

_(Elizabeth nods in agreement. The two girls enter the parlor in a slightly dignified manner.)_

_(All the Merriman and the Cole family members are present. Mr. Cole, Annabelle, and Ben are completely intoxicated with the Romulan Ale beverage. Ben starts blabbing something that is fairly audible to everyone in the parlor.)_

**Ben:** _(drunkenly)_ Oh, Annabelle, you have such a nice bosom. May I touch it?

**Mrs. Cole:** _(turning to Ben, aghast)_ That is the most obnoxious thing you could ever say, Benjamin Davidson! Is that how you Patriots act?

_(Felicity glares at Ben and slaps him silly in his right cheek area.)_

**Felicity:** _(seriously and slightly emphatically)_ He's drunk, that's all, Mrs. Cole. _(turns to Elizabeth and whispers)_ Come on,

**Elizabeth:** Let's drag Ben out of the parlor before he starts flirting with Bananabelle.

_(Felicity and Elizabeth drag Ben out of the parlor and into the dining room, near the front window. Seconds later they hear carolers singing at the front yard.)_

**Felicity: **_(in jittery excitement)_ 'Tis the carolers! Look, Elizabeth!

**Ben:** _(slowly, slightly audibly while nearly half-asleep)_ Wazzup, Lissie?

_(Both Felicity and Elizabeth peer from the front window. The carolers are singing "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree" with the blaring boom box as their hi-fi accompaniment.)_

Felicity narrates

_"As the carolers blared their rock-n-roll songs, I knew that no matter where our final journeys left us, we would always have in the depths of our hearts the creature comforts of the evening, the love of our family, and the everlasting nature of true friendship. But for the official record I just wanted to note that this Christmas evening was pretty awful. However, Mr. Cole, Bananabelle, and Ben will eventually get over their serious intoxication with the Romulan Ale, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem."_

**THE END**

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Well, that's it for this parody. I thought it would be hilarious to include aspects from the Star Trek universe. Please R&R (Review and Rate)!


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